Dear friend,
Welcome, or welcome back! In case you missed it:
I have lived in seven cities across five states in the last decade. Two of those moves were for career promotions, two of those moves were marriage-related. All of those moves required me to meet new people. Make new friends. And y’all – I LOVE humans. I love people. I am an extreme extrovert. And even I, as a people-loving, extremely extroverted, talkative millennial, have struggled to connect at times.
Enter this blog.
I have finally landed on a centering theme for this blog, a focus: how to make, keep, and enrich life-giving friendships that make your life more colorful, bright, and fulfilled. I invite you to come back every Monday and Thursday for friendship tips.
Think of me as your friend in the city. Your sis, encouraging you to make new connections. Today’s friendship tip is below!
Tip #3: C is for Connection
As I type this, I’m co-working with my friend in the city Taj, who I met randomly at a fitness class two weeks into moving to DC last fall. I am so glad that I met her; I am so glad that we both work remotely, we both used to be educators and we can randomly decide to meet up and get work done.
Making friends as an adult can be hard.
There are schedules to plan around, work/family/other life stuff things to work around. And yet, research shows us that it takes us around 7 times of seeing someone before we start feeling really comfortable around them.
Today’s blog is all about connection. Connection is the spark, I believe, that really ignites friendship.
If you’re feeling disconnected, here are some tips for how to start making new friends or bonding with the friends you want to get to know more:
- Do things together that you were already going to do: I once met a friend for a “Target run”, simply because we hadn’t had quality time together in a long time. I was a school principal at the time, so we caught up while I was getting baskets for my living room and buying yet another cardigan I needed. This is why meeting with my new-er friend to co-work in a coffee shop works. I work from home. Whether I do it in my office or at this coffee shop, it’s something I am going to do anyway. I might as well do it with a friend!
- Create friendship dates centered around creative or active things: There is a reason walking clubs, book parties (yes, book parties. It’s a whole thing, look it up, they’re big in NYC), and painting classes are so popular. Doing things together creates memories. Doing things together allow you to learn and grow together, to develop new skills. Also, if you don’t have friends where you live, go do things and meet new people! I have met so many people just by leaving my home, y’all. Revolutionary. I know.
- If you like hosting, have people over!: My husband and I love to host people. When we lived on the West Coast last year, some of my favorite memories involved having dinner with and watching the Batchelor with some really kind friends every week. Y’all, I’m not a big Batchelor-nation fan to this day, but there is something about giggling with and following the drama together that made me feel the warm-fuzzies of a middle-school girlie at a sleepover.
Overall, making time for friendship is like other healthy habits: if it’s fun, you are more likely to do it more. So, above all else, have fun!
Remember, you don’t need a ton of friends. You just need a few good ones.
Your friend in the city,
Vimbo
P.S. ❤️ Subscribe to my weekly Sunshine Emails that go out on Mondays, click HERE 😊
