Dear friend,
Welcome, or welcome back! In case you missed last Thursday’s post:
I have lived in seven cities across five states in the last decade. Two of those moves were for career promotions, two of those moves were marriage-related. All of those moves required me to meet new people. Make new friends. And y’all – I LOVE humans. I love people. I am an extreme extrovert. And even I, as a people-loving, extremely extroverted, talkative millennial, have struggled to connect at times.
Enter this blog.
I have finally landed on a centering theme for this blog, a focus: how to make, keep, and enrich life-giving friendships that make your life more colorful, bright, and fulfilled. I invite you to come back every Monday and Thursday for friendship tips.
Think of me as your friend in the city. Your sis, encouraging you to make new connections. Today’s friendship tip is below!
Tip #1: A is for Ask Your Way to Friendship
Yesterday, I went to brunch with a new-ish friend. She is fantastic. She’s accomplished, has a great sense of humor, and she’s got such a gentle sense of graciousness, I immediately found myself wanting to hang out with her again.
What cracked me up is that when I was leaving home, my husband asked me some questions about her, and I realized that there is a lot about her that I don’t know. Which is totally fine – we’ve only seen each other twice. But still, it reminded me that I wanted to know more about this new friend, and I have learned to be intentional about asking questions in order to deepen connection. Here’s why:
- We feel closer to people the more we know about them. Think about your closest connections. You know more than their favorite color and movie – you know their last heartbreak. And asking someone deeper questions like, “what are friendship dealbreakers for you” is one way to learn more about what makes someone tick.
- Asking the right questions helps you find common ground. Yesterday at brunch, I found out that my new friend likes to travel and exercise, which are two things I like as well! Knowing common hobbies is a great way to plan future friend dates around common interests!
- Some great starter questions that go deeper:
- What fills your days? (instead of “what do you do for work”)
- What is going really well for you right now?
- What is most important for you in a friend?
Remember, you don’t need a ton of friends. You just need a few good ones.
Your friend in the city,
Vimbo
P.S. ❤️ Subscribe to my weekly Sunshine Emails that go out on Mondays, click HERE 😊
