“Imagine actually experiencing tenderness toward who you are—not just tolerating or enduring your life, your family, your relationships, your body, and your career, but truly finding ways to love and honor them.”
― author
I met with a new friend for tea and coffee this week who happens to be a neighbor. We have met several times already, sometimes waving across the street, sometimes striking up conversations in the driveway. But after I delivered some cookies last week, we finally set aside time to meet up.
She said something during our conversation that was simple, but it really struck a chord with me. She said,
“You’re a ‘planner’, aren’t you?”
Dear reader, she was correct. I am indeed a planner. I have a plan for my plans. My physical planner is filled with plans for today, tomorrow, and July. As soon as something new pops up, I have to very actively not try to not sit down, plot out, and anticipate every contingency or possibility that could come up.
I’m a planner. And honestly, it’s exhausting.
So, fun fact: if you’re reading this somehow randomly, and you don’t know me personally, I used to be an elementary school principal.
That’s right. My entire job was to strategize, evaluate, lead, and ultimately, to plan. That exercise of thinking through the possibilities and anticipating the outcomes is the entire name of the game in school administration.
Even now, in my current position as the Director of a Non-Profit (shameless plug, click here for more info about us!), I am still planning.
But it is at a different rhythm and pace, which allows me to control more of my time and chart out my daily structure.
Working outside of education means I can work in time blocks more thoughtfully and leave entire blocks of time for dreaming, creative work, and reflection.
It’s weird.
In many ways, it’s fantastic. But I still struggle with being fully here, fully present, fully absorbing what is happening now.
This blog will not include a list of how I’ve learned to be more mindful. It’s really more of a confession about my struggle to notice my life.
I just wrinkled my nose,
outside my window, it is grey,
and I have no clue how to end this blog post.
And that’s what’s happening now
with me.
So there, see,
I’m making progress 😊
Love & Joy,
Vimbo
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