This past week alone, I have a good friend making major life decisions, another dear friend had their first child, and another childhood best friend is expecting her first child with all of the thrills of an eventful pregnancy.
And none of them live in the same state as me, let alone within driving distance. I miss them. I miss the people who remember that I wore knock-off Ugg boots in middle school, and that I used to have a slight lisp on my “S’s” before I had braces and jaw surgery a couple years ago.
Friendship is so interesting.
So much has changed since hitting adulthood. Long gone are the days we ranked each other in our Top 8 section in Myspace. So much has changed, but so much has stayed the same. My friends have made my life so colorful, and I can only hope that I’ve done the same for them.
friend /frend/ [noun]
: one attached to another by affection or esteem
: a favored companion
Adjusting to Changing Seasons
Here are some observations I’ve had about this current season of life I’m in. For me, it’s a season of transition – new-ish city/state/timezone I’m living in, still a relatively new-ish marriage, and definitely a new-ish job. Here’s what I’ve discovered, that helps me give myself grace as things shift and change:
(1) It is ok to love my friends deeply and not talk to each other often. I recognize that my time and energy are limited. For years, I’ve felt somewhat guilty for not “keeping in touch” with friends who mean so much to me who no longer live close. Now I realize it’s ok to catch up twice a year. To send memes and messages on social media.
(2) New adult friendships often require you leaving your house. My husband and I moved literally across the country a few months ago, and on the first Monday in my new city, I went to a military spouse networking and small business training session. Rewinding a bit – while my husband was driving our moving truck through Idaho, I randomly signed up to attend this workshop in our new home. As a result, I met one of the kindest, most intentional people, resulting in her inviting me to 5 different events in my first two months in my new city. All because, even when we weren’t even unpacked, I had Amazon mail me an acceptable outfit, and I decided to venture out into something new.
(3) Making new friends as an adult takes energy, but it is totally worth it. Similar to point #2, I have found that friendships now take more intentional time and energy, but it is totally worth it. I met an amazing person at the one and only yoga class I’ve attended since moving. She and I are both really busy with work, but we have found a way to connect! Lately, we’ve been meeting every couple of weeks to work together in a coffee shop. The last time, it was raining, and parking was a hassle, but guess what? Worth it.
I don’t have all the answers, but I know this. In this season, I’m leaning into my new environment. I’m putting on my “social” pants. The extrovert in me is being nourished each time I invest time into connecting.
What does friendship look like right now for you?
Tell me over on Instagram @vimbowatson
Love & Joy,
Vimbo
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